over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
