Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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