I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize