Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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