So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
