I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
