with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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