can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
