God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize