hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
