i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
