just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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