break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
