just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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