I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
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He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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