shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
