There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
