Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
