its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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