let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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