Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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