textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize