All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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