Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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