I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
