I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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