Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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