Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

well..are you winning?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had

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(573): View more from Missouri

I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.

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(573): View more from Missouri

just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.

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(418): View more from Quebec

Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.

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(310): View more from California

Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.

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(407): View more from Florida

I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN

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