I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
