I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
