It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
