She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
