you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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