Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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