I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All I want is dick and wine.
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