What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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