is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize