did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i need some magic done to my vagina
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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