Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
