'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
