You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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