My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
