Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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