he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
why do cheetos always look like penises
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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