I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
