Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
