would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Your penis caused this!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
