I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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