I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
