I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
