I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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