I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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