Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
