I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
