Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
