I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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