after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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