I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
