I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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