I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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