I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
