yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
