on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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